In the aftermath of tragedy, people rightly become fearful about their own safety and well-being. I would like to offer some tips for managing the distress associated with violent or traumatic events.
Release the Energy
When we first hear of tragedies we begin to experience several emotions: shock, sorrow, hopelessness, fear, anger, and grief. Giving these feelings a voice helps to release those negative energies. Talk to friends and family about what you are feeling, but try to avoid “awfulizing” — engaging in irrational and dramatic thoughts about what might happen next. Try to stick with what you are feeling now and attempt to envision a future of peace beyond the tragedy.
Releasing also means taking a break. After a community or global tragedy, news sources will cover it non-stop. Tune it out — turn off the TV after the local news, skip the front page, or avoid news sources entirely for two to three days. Your nervous system will thank you.
Take Care of Yourself
Honor all of your feelings by acknowledging them. If you have an overall feeling of discomfort, try to identify each feeling and, if need be, say out loud what you are experiencing: “I’m feeling afraid right now.” Then take a deep breath and allow the feeling to leave as you exhale.
Engage in healthy behaviors. Eat regular, well-balanced meals. Enjoy a cup of soothing tea. Go to bed early and get a full night of sleep. Get some exercise — even a slow walk around the block helps. Avoid alcohol and substances that numb your feelings or increase depression. If needed, make an appointment with a professional for additional support.
And meditate. The goal of meditation is not to stop thoughts, but to become a part of the calm water beneath the surface of an agitated sea. The world and the mind are full of activity. Regular meditation is an escape from the craziness of both — learning to detach from all that activity and connect with the balance, centeredness, and peace that is always present in spite of the chaos. In this way, you become an agent of peace for others.
Do Something Productive
In the aftermath of tragedy we often hear stories of humanity — people who, in spite of everything, did amazing things to help others. This is our true nature. For a while, be a listener to someone else who is coping. Be sure to truly listen — don’t interject with your own thoughts, just be present and supportive.
Consider volunteer work. Nothing feels more rewarding than the sense of accomplishment in helping others. If you’ve thought about helping at a food pantry or serving a meal to those in need, a moment of personal difficulty can be a powerful motivator to finally do it. Those everyday little acts of kindness make the world a better place.
Find Gratitude
Look for gratitude in the face of tragedy. Think of those who helped others and be grateful for their courage. Be grateful for those who are passionate about preventing tragedy, fighting for peace, and protecting our communities. Be grateful for what is good in your life — shelter, food, a safe neighborhood, friends, family, and community. Gratitude is one of the most positive feelings we can cultivate, closely related to love itself. Be the source of gratitude for others.
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